the one with the update

the last time i blogged was when it was the first day of 2009. for the 1st 2 months, it has relatively been an uneventful one. not much happenings going on around me. but there are important decisions that kept bothering me every night. also, i learnt to see many things in a different light.

jobwise, i am just going through the motion every day, learning new things along the way and picking up the neccessary skills to survive in the working environment. i just couldn't decide whether to move on to another environment. keep comtemplating everyday due to my resistance to change. i am content with my current group of mates who are able to share our woes together. a new env, means a new grp of people. and i believe, the worst fear for me is uncertainty. what is going to be out there?

i am such a undecisive person. simple things like buying a new desktop took me months to consider. i believe i shouldn't bother about those worries but to just set myself to do it. few years have gone by and i am still like this. i think i require some event to trigger myself out of this comfort zone.

i am thankful for her for being there for me. i realised that i might turn out to be another person if i am left alone. i am damn disgusted by how a person can be like that, to the point that you aren't yourself anymore. it is really scary. people say "环境所逼” but i just dont feel that it is a valid reason to turn yourself into another person. i believe that even when the environment is like shit, and u are still able to work your way through the corporate ladder, and yet still keep your principles, this, i would respect.

the one with 2008

another year has just passed by and i believed many would look back and reflect on how the year has been for them. yeah i do the same and i dare say this 2008 will etch deep in my memories. it was a year filled with ups and downs, changes that shaped my life, changes that make me a better person, changes that i have to learn to adapt as part and parcel of my life. many things took place in 2008 that when i look back, it all seems so fast.

1) School
it was like yesterday that i started the last semester of my school life. it seems only yesterday that we were rushing out our fyp, watching soccer with my hall friends. it was the last ride of my school life. it all came to a good end, though i managed only a 2nd lower, i was satisfied with my results for the last sem. i will always remember all the good times i shared with my friends, hall was where i met my baby, hall was where i forged great friendships with so many people, hall was where i took leadership positions and learnt so much from there. it all came to an end on 30 April 2008 where i took my last paper.

2) Weddings and New Home
Both my bros got married, on 1st March and 21st Dec. It was a joyous, yet sad occasion. Because we have been through so much together. I will always remember us playing soccer at home and at the carpark, the wrestling that we acted when we were young, the all so good times are too many and painful to describe. we have all grown up and it is time that they moved on to their next stage of their lifes. i wish them all the best. 8th March was when we moved house. It was the day where we said goodbye to 34A Mar Thoma Road, my humble house for the past 23 years. i missed it so much. it has been torn down but the memories and good times that i shared there, will always be with me.

3) Baby
i learn my lessons well. it was a horrible and sad 2 months for me. i couldn't even imagine how i went through those 2 months like that. every morning i woke up with pain in my heart, thinking why must all this happened. but i am so glad that i didn't give up. thanks baby for being there for me. let's work hard for this relationship. love u.

4) Overseas Trip
Went to Taiwan with my NTU/Jiaokias friends. It was a good trip. i wanna thank you guys for being there with me, though most didnt know what happened until the very last day. but it was the company that i enjoyed.
Also, australia trip with baby. it was an unforgettable experience. we had so much fun and i really cherish those moments with you. i wanna go on another adventure with my baby. thanks dear.
2 short trips, batam and genting. realised i really went so many places this year.

5) Work
job started on 30th June 2008, few days after i got back from australia. the work is tough, but it is challenging as well. my colleagues at bdg east are fun people. however, all changed so quickly on 10th Nov where we received news there we will be transferred out of the dept to different places. i wanted to get out so much but i have come to terms with it. i will take this time and learn as much as i can and see how things go in the future. it is still better to have a job then without one.

this year is really a special year for me. after seeing so much through the year, i believed there is nothing that is nothing that can topple me in the new year ahead. nonetheless, i will brace myself for a rough ride and face what ever that is to come. as the saying goes, tough times don't last. tough men do.

the one with work

i have always heard about how cut throat the working world out there, especially in sales. i guess i am beginning to see it surfacing. i know that in sales, it is all men for himself. the survival of the fittest. however, does it have to incur other people's wrath in the midst of doing so? i still believe in the traditional thinking of sticking to my own principles. not to offend anyone in my work and to maintain healthy working relationships with my colleagues. i do not wish to become unscrupulous in the future. stealing other people's deals in order to record the highest sales and get promoted. people can mock at me for being stupid in this world today. but i still believe if i changed into that kind of character, it is not worthwhile at all. of course i do want to make lots of money. but i still want to have my own principles and to stick to it whenever possible.

times are bad with all the talk about what is happening around the financial world. it is bad. and i guess it is time to hide under a safe umbrella for now. heard something from a senior vice president today which i feel it is really true. if we can survive this recession, we can come out being a better person cos we would have seen the worst. and i believe, this will increase our market value in the future.

it is hard to talk to people with different wavelength. they think differently and it is hard to click with them. i am still not aggressive at my work. to push to sell our products as aggressively as my colleagues. it is really true on what i heard from a personal banker. today's market is not about meeting your customer needs, it is about selling them what you want them to buy to achieve your sales target. i think it is sad.

i think i am being contented..

the one with i have a dream

i have a dream. a dream where my whole family can live together. my parents, my grandma, and my brothers with their family... all living in an estate. i've seen this on tv and i thought it would be so nice that we could all live under one roof. but last time, it was impossible to me. cos i know that i could never had so much money in my life to even afford such a lifestyle. but there are oppotunities out there now. it is doable. it is feasible that such dream are not just a dream anymore. it can be a reality given the right chances, the right opportunities. and of course, hard work. i heard from a person with this being his life motto: i don't want to make money a problem in anything i do in the future. it may sounds that he is super money minded. but i guess he also have a dream. something that he dream of in the future. that's why he is working so hard. from then on, i wanted the same thing. i don't want money to restrict what i wanna do. but i do know that i have to work doubly hard for it. and it often comes with a price.

let me rough it out a few years before i see where my future holds. i know i can't be just an ordinary worker who wakes up in the morning and go to work like a robot. i want to be in control. but nobody knows where the future go. and i don't want to dictate my life now. hopefully, i can find my calling.

ps: it's been months since i blogged. damn...

the one ...

it's been quite sometime since i last blogged. a little bit about myself. i am into my 4th week at UOB. working ain't that easy. i believe that i will learn alot from this job, but also aware of the tough times ahead of me. i should really concentrate on it instead of having my mind drifting most of the time. i still have my goals set that i want to achieve in the next few years. i hope i can adjust quickly and get my engine started as soon as possible.

i think a picture paints a thousand words. but i also feels that songs with meaningful lyrics sometimes can make one cries. i feel alot for the lyrics of songs. it is so emotional sometimes.

周杰伦 - 彩虹

哪里有彩虹告诉我
能不能把我的愿望还给我
为什么天这么安静
所有的云都跑到我这里

有没有口罩一个给我
释怀说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药

看不见你的笑
我怎么睡得着
你的声音这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳还是会绕

没有理由我也能自己走
你要离开 我知道很简单
你说依赖 是我们的阻碍
就算放开 但能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白

always believed in do unto others as you would others do unto you. but do others believe in that?

the one with it

i guess i am not that upset as i was since last time. but please, do not keep asking me for the reason. it is between us. i have stop waking up with severe heartache, but it still does hurts every now and then. and when it comes, there is just no way i can stop it. i feel like i am adapting for the sake of it, for not wanting to destroy what is in front of me. i just hope i can get over it and take one step at a time. there might come a time when i totally do not care what she does already. but i think it will never come. it is depressing still. but i got to face the fact. i believe in doing unto others as what others would do unto you. that is definitely true and i have to learn to accept it instead of telling others to do so.

the one....

i dun want to wake up every morning with pain

i dun want to have any more regrets in my life

i just want things to be simple