the one with the lyrics: savage garden, crash and burn

savage garden, crash and burn

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apartI can mend a broken heartI
f you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

chorus

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

chorus

the one with the lyrics: take that, how deep is your love?

take that, how deep is your love?

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love
Then you softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love?
How deep is your love?
I really meant to learn
Cos we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down when they
All should let us be

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest, darkest hour
My savior when I fall

And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do

chorus

the one with a tinge of sadness

she's moving on with her life. glad to hear that but still feel sad whenever i think of the past. it's still hurt a bit in my heart. sometimes, it's hard to let go but i have to. emotions taking over me now. i don't know why i cry also. this is really not good.

the one with the colours and training

i think i need to change some colours for my clothes le. my cupboard is painted with a sea of blue, black, white and maybe a slight tinge of orange. should start to get more clothes with different colours. suddenly got a fetish for stripes polo t-shirts. gonna get more if got spare cash.

had the first bball training today. played for 4 hours and totally shagged out. it was fun playing with the hall people. i don't really go for the winning but others do. i am just out there to have a good time and enjoy myself. don't need for the sian look when losing. it's just a game. just do your best can liao.

inefficent management of time. too many activities taking over my life. i wished to doraemon was around to split me into different parts and go for all the activities. if only.

the one with the monday blues

i just want to vent my frustration here. slept for only less than 4 hours today and had to go thru the whole day in school. spend a straight 5 hours at the access lab for accounting project and another 2 more for fm project, although i didn't do much. really tired from all this work. receiving calls every now and then and having to repeat myself to all those participants. it's just another busy day for me. actually got alot for things that i wanted to say, but mind blank now.

worked at IMM yesterday. was an easy job. saw the kids playing around. suddenly want to be a 5year old kid again with no worries at all. saw a lot of cute little boys and girls around. i wan to play with my cute nephew!

the one with the outburst.

it's really very complicated. this thing called love. i have seen way too many breakups ever since i stepped into ntu. is it the temptation or that couples are just not stable enough to maintain their relationships? i can see it's a torture for most people. it's really a complicated thing.

i don't like people being way too direct. i experienced that yesterday. went down from MS to clarke quay to pick people up. in the end, they called to say that they taking cab down and i had to walk back. i am not angry. but problem is the way someone talked to me. not that nice after all and it's just miscommunication that caused the problem. so much for being a nice guy.

i can listen to other people's woes but it's sometimes really hard to give advice because i believed that they can make or break you. i believed that you had already make that decision to do things but you just need to reassure yourself by asking for your friends' opinions. yesterday was a day where i really talk heart to heart with my friend. trying to be there for them when they need someone to talk to. but sometimes, i need that someone too. then again, i am hard to open up.

i am unsure of my own emotions of the times. really hope i can control them well and be sure of what i really want. most poeple are just not willing to express what they are feeling and thinking, making each other speculating. interpersonal communication is a skill that is hard to master.

the one with the boulevard of broken dreams

greenday, boulevard of broken dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

chorus

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

chorus

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah,
Aaah-ahAh-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

chorus

like this song alot. don't why. just think it's the song of the year.

the one where the first week ends

realised that i am abit loud after hearing some comments from friends. they could practically hear me from the third level. think i need to exercise self control le.

end of the first week after recess. been pretty much busy with hall activities as well as cca commitment. a accounting test coming up next next monday, projects presentations to do and deadlines to be met. realised that it is not going to be easy if i carry on like that. lagging behind too much in my studies le. but trying to pick up as much as i can. have to stay focused in order to really get myself to study.

i realised i have a common thinking with someone. it was glad to let things out finally. thought it would be difficult to say somethings out but i am happy that i did. finally get somethings off my chest. besides that, it's ironic that we could have the same thinking sometime. thanks.

the one with the late nights

consecutive late nights since sunday is beginnning to drain my energy away slowly. but even thought i tried to sleep on my bed and sleep every night, i would just lie and think. it's getting painful to think nowadays. thought things would turn out better but now, something is lacking. not the usual days le. i just don't know how to say things anymore. i just don't know how to express myself anymore. i wish i could be more daring. but i am just not.

the one with the english language

i realised that the most significant problem that we faced while doing projects is the rephrasing of what we had said into perfect english statements. my group was particularly stucked at every part when we had discussed and agreed onto something but the hard part was to put it into real context. this, i think, has got to do with our standard of english. i think mine sucks totally. but some people say i "jia gan dan"(english speaking). don't know why.

it's had been a terrible day at school, first time i am in school from 830 to 1900. with project meeting occupying most of the time. now i realised how some people feel le.

the one with the ever piling workload

just had a four hour straight project group discussion in my hall. realised that there are tonnes of projects that need to be done. i foresee myself being super busy for the next coming 2 weeks, with each subject having projects/presentations which deadlines are drawing, and not forgetting the ongoing tutorials that need to be done, as well as the backdated ones that i have not completed. and also my commitment with 3 sub comms. this is worse than the recess week. and worse still, the exams are drawing near too. i hope i can enjoy my bdae by the time everything is over. but i will survive! hopefully. haha.

guess people will wonder what's up with "the one" thingy. only some will know. :)

the one with the memories of mid autumn festival

didn't realised it was mid autumn festival today. was at my grandma's house just now when all the memories keep flashing back. i remembered that we used to play with candles, walked around with the lanterns and eating mooncakes. but as time passes, these cease and what i have now is just another ordinary day. seems sad that i am no longer a kid anymore and can't be that little kid to play with candles and lanterns anymore. wish time could just turn back for that moment and be that little child again.

everywhere i go, memories just keep flashing to and fro my mind. it was all so sweet.

savage garden, i knew i loved you

savage garden, i knew i loved you

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
only this sense of completion
and in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
a little crazy but I believe

chorus

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

chorus

uncertainties

i really don't know what i am thinking nowadays. all mixed thoughts, jumbled up in one mess. but i know it hurts sometimes. seems to me the future is filled with uncertainties, with question marks in my head all the time. i need to answer those questions.

maybe i lack courage as well. courage to speak up, courage to express myself, courage to do the most minute stuff as well. the feeling is not good. but i don't know how to resolve it.

realised my blog sucks nowadays.

emptiness

don't know whether there is such a word as emptiness. just that it is what i am feeling now. don't really know what i am doing nowadays. what i am doing, what i always thinking about, how are things going to be in the future.. filled with uncertainties. things ain't going to be same anymore and i will have to face it. i have said i got to be firm and i am going to be. sometimes i just wish i could pour everything out and share my woes but it's so difficult. wish i had a shoulder to lean on, cry on. just this emotional side getting the better of me this few days. so sorry if i appear emotion-less these few days. i just need someone to relate to.

piles of work not done and it's thursday tomorrow le. i am so dead. endless projects/assignments/tutorials/revision that need to be done. what happen to my usual weekend outings with jiaokias? the non-sensical chit chatting that is so crappy that makes all of us laugh like mad people in town. need to get that back.

the feeling is once again back. but just hope it will be over soon. if not, i really cannot concentrate on my work.

things are not going to be easy. i hope i will pull through.

love song for a savior

jars of clay, love song for a savior

In open fields of wild flowers,
she breathes the air and flies away
She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses
in no simple language
Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all
He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips
Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call her and she will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

Sitting silent wearing Sunday best
The sermon echoes through the walls
A great salvation through it calls to the people
who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens
As close a heartbeat or a song on our lips
Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him
Someday He'll call us and we will come running
and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You"

It seems too easy to call you "Savior",
Not close enough to call you "God"
So as I sit and think of words I can mentiont
o show my devotion

"I want to fall in love with You""

my heart beats for You"

i did it!

the feeling is so shiok. completed my 21km in less than 2 hrs. though this might seems insignificant to others, i think it's a great achievement. my effort did paid off in the end. next challenge: standard chartered 42.195km. that would be the real test of perserverance and physical endurance. people would think i am crazy but i just want to do something while i still can, instead of regretting it in the future.

saw a lot of my army friends today. these people have once helped, tought or just passed by a certain part of my army time. i thanked them for helping me in one way or another. missed those days when i was in army. but to quote someone)(crystal, as requested!haha): let go of the past, it's there to remember, not to cling to. i believe that but sometimes, it's hard to let go. i saw men that were in their 30s or 40s still running. friendships forged back in the army days still remain and they still hanged out after so many years.

i finally believed in karma. worked as a market research survery for a certain juice drink on saturday. was rejected too many times that i lost count whenever i stepped out to people on the street. we are like the most dreaded people around and they would detoured just to avoid us. but come to think of it, isn't that what i have been doing everytime i see surveyors? maybe this is 报应. but it was good money though. something to reward myself again?

hurts.

it really hurts. it hurts real bad in my heart. i have made her cry so badly. i am the bad guy in her eyes. but what i wanted was just for her to be happy. i know she won't be happy to be with me. i am just not the one. i've lost the zest in trying to maintain this relationship. i hate myself so much. please. now she hates me. why? i think the main reason is i keep things to myself again. there's alot that i wanted to tell her. but does it helps? i don't think it matters anymore. it sucks.

untitled 5...

recess week finally here le. but doesn't really seems to be a recess week. just a time for me to catch up on what i've been missing in sch so far. this week was filled with quizzes, but was able to finally reward with a new movie(the longest yard) and a new fragrance. but it wasn't that great a week. had to break the news. made me feel like the worst guy ever. but i think it would be better to say it now than to drag it any further. she would be happier without me i guess. really hope she could find someone that could really dotes and cares for her alot, unlike me. it would take some time to get over with but hope things will be ok for her. my friends think i am ok le. i just don't show it. don't really want to spread my feelings to others. i am sad too.

...

it's over. nobody can know how i feel now. there are too many things going thru my head and i don't know what to write on. it's definitely sad but i feel it would better this way...................................................................................................................................
..................................... i really don't know what to say. .

i have to be firm in my decison. it's coming to an end soon. sometimes things don't go the way we want it to be.

untitled 4..

my mum just told me i have become very quiet nowadays when i am at home. doesn't talk much about school life and what is going on with me. but this has always been like that at home. it's not like we have this tradition to tell everything to our parents. my bros are the same as well. i don't think there's much to talk about. sometimes i just don't feel like talking to them cos it would end up in a flare again. maybe this is what people call generation gap. i am beginning to feel it. it's getting worse cos sometimes i just wish to stay in hall and do my own readings than talk to them. this is getting bad. i could only talk to my 2nd bro. but most of the time i just hide things too. it sucks basically.

wishes

i wish to control my emotions sometimes, i wish for an easier choice, i wish i could just know what she is thinking, i wish that things are much simpler to be understood, i wish i could stop guessing for once, i wish i wouldn't have to think so much, i wish people could be more truthful and frank in what they say, i wish for easier understanding of people, i wish i know what i want, i wish i could have the best of both worlds, i really wish life was simple, i wish for alot of things that is impossible to happen. i wish...

freaking absent minded

ok. i admit that i am absent minded. totally. going up to the lounge and i can forget where i place my stuff. argh. how to change this stupid habit? excuse i can give is that i am too tired from the running and wasn't thinking properly. but what about other situations? no excuses. i want to change but how? it not only irritates me but also others. better do something about it before it get on my nerves..

running is so shiok! haha.