the one with the lyrics: def leppard, when love and hate collides

def leppard, when love and hate collides

You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Instead of slamming down the phone girl, for the hundredth time
I got your number on my wall, but I ain't gonna make that call
When divided we stand baby, united we fall

Got the time got a chance gonna make it
Got my hands on your heart gonna take it
All I know I can't fight this flame
You could have a change of heart, if you would only change your mind
Cause I'm crazy 'bout you baby, time after time

Without you
One night alone Is like a year without you baby
Do you have a heart of stone
Without you
Can't stop the hurt inside
When love and hate collide

I don't wanna fight no more,
I don't know what we're fighting for
When we treat each other baby, like an act of war
I could tell a million lies and it would come as no surprise
When the truth is like a stranger, hits you right between the eyes

There's a time and a place and a reason
And I know I got a love to believe in
All I know got to win this time

the one with the mind

the mind is a powerful thing. there is no denial. mind over matters. once you set your mind on something, the mind can be so powerful to overcome the obstacles that come. or it can hurt too. it can make you think of things that you don't want to. but no matter how hard one try, it will keep recurring. it still up to the mind on how to interpret them.

whenever i thought that i saw light at the end of the tunnel, dark clouds loomed and it became grey once again.

the one where i am 不爽

totally not happy when i see certain things and i don't have the ability or means to change the way things are. it's about hall activities again. true, we all have our own life outside school and want to maintain our social life. but if u have already join something, please be committed. i am really going to complain if some people i see are still in hall next year despite of the little things that they did to earn cca points. yes. some people just put down their names to join certain subcomms just to earn points, with the belief that they would get them even if they don't do anything. they would push off meetings or commitments by just saying they have things outside. if you are that busy, buzz off. quit hall. don't even join hall activities. i don't know whether the president or the head of certain events are doing something about it. i really wish. maybe there can be a system where if a person don't turn up for more than a reasonable percentage of participation, he or she would be out! that's it. sometimes i wish i was the president. but who knows what would happen when i am one? i admit i going to reduce my hall activities once the points system is out. so what? at least i put in my time and effort to earn that stay in second year. 我问心有愧.

do unto others as you would have others do unto you. always find this phrase very true wherever i go. 你要人家着样对你，你就着样对人家。i think that's roughly the meaning in chinese bah.

i am not that kind of person that 记仇。 once things are over, i won't go and ponder over it. but if things are unresolved, how to let it go and treat that there is nothing at all? i like to 打破沙锅问到底. don't like to drag stuff i guess..

recently, i got more impatient.guess i need to control my temper le. end of recess week. sad to say, i have blew it without much work done. vowed to treat the next 7 weeks as important as anything else. study mode le.

the one where i am tired

another meeting today with late meet ups and one person still pissing me off. don't think he deserve to be in our CP group. really wan him out. but it always this kind of situation where everybody noe that something is wrong but just cant bear to say it out because of various reasons like he or she is my friend or it would make things worse or just dun wan to make things ugly. why are we living in a world that is so complicated? i am tired of all this things le. either i put a stop to it or i carry on. it's a tough choice. don't know what should i do now. somebody please tell me. i am really tired.

the one with the probing

i don't know why i keep probing. maybe i just want to be reassured and to clear some uncertainty. keep telling myself not to ask again and even promise not to do that. but certain part of me still wan to noe the truth. i don't know how i can take all this. it's painful again.

the one with the admin instructions

admin instructions. it's a thin or thick set of documents that is prepared by an officer before the start of any activities. it includes everything, ranging from the timing of events, the equipments needed, the safety instructions, it entails who is going to do what at what time. it used to be a hassle or chore to anyone of us who needed to painstakingly write and type it out for our superior to sign. but i realised the importance of it till yesterday's carnival.

it was unplanned, disorganised and it was till the very last minute that things were only half done. yes, we are students and do not really have the time to do the stuff effectively. if that's the case, then don't even bother to have a carnival. i do appreciate the effort of most people who did their best to make the event a successful one. but if we can't manage or priortise our time properly, then how we gonna manage our life in the future? maybe i myself haven really manage my time well too.

the one with the hall activities

think i have said it too many times that i myself have lost the energy to say it again. really dissappointed with hall activities. just pray that next sem i don't get myself involved with it again. be it that i would be regarded as a hermit or wat. i really don't want to degrade myself and be accustomed to their lifestyle. i would rather they change themselves to suit me, which i think is better. sorry to say that, even though i have said before that everyone is different, shouldn't force them to be like you or wat. my bro told me he once experienced hall, and told me i would slowly integrate myself to it. but he didnt like it so he quitted. i don't want to just quit hall. waste all my efforts and i like the comfort of being so near to school. a terrifiying thought that i would "integrate" myself. scary.

the one with the rampage

university students=pillars of the society? never i think. including me. i got alot of things to complain about the way people do their stuff. it's so disorganised, especially hall related stuff. things can be postponed without prior warning, things can be changed at the very last minute. people throw things to you, expecting you to go find out what is needed to be done. ridiculous. if you wan people to do stuff for you, please, at least you yourself know what is going on first, really make an ASS out of U and ME if u ASSUME that he or she knows. throwing responsibilites just like that. the whole jcrc is pissing me off with everything that they do. should have listen to my brother's advice, warning me about how hall activities can creep me out and dissuade him from staying last time. it's true. for example, the allocation of seminar rooms or any other rooms in particular. who is in charge of who gets the room or whatever? or people once again assume that nobody is using it for meetings and think they will get it. why can't the president do something about it? or someone? i guess in this society, it's hard for anybody to speak up for fear of rejection or embarrassment. even me. i believe this problem can be solved easily by just having someone to be in charge of all the rooms and he or she would know who had booked the room. or even better, have a online system to book the rooms, in this case there will be less conflicts.

another thing. people join jcrc sub comms to get points. what if they don't contribute or try to avoid anything that is related to it? do they still deserve the points? i don't think so. there should be some criteria before giving them the points. some people just don't deserve it.

watched i not stupid 2 and it really impressed me. this society is getting harder and saddening to live in. interpersonal communication is what people are lacking. parents and teachers scolding children and students even before finding out what is going on. never even bother to understand their plight. at least listen. is it so hard to just listen to what he or she have to say? there's nothing anyone can do about it that it's becoming saddening how this society is. generation gap? i always thought that my parents can't understand what i am thinking. but can i understand what my kids think in the future? i think only a handful can really do that. can we blame the anyone for what they have become? or should he or she reflect themselves first?

i don't think i will join anything related to jcrc next year. this year there isn't a choice. i needed the points. next year. fuck it. and i think i rather be the president in something than to be under the charge of someone. i just want to be in control.

the one with the relationship

read a friend's blog. thought it was interesting in a way.

do take a step back now and then to reflect on yourself, see what have become of you, whether you have changed for the certain someone, it's great if he/she has made you change/is making you change for the better (eg. you started doing voluntary at ALL the old folks' home in singapore)... but think about it, has he/she made you change for the worse? (eg. he abuses stray animals and you follow suit, you started to knock down cats n dogs when you see them) ---- hahahaa ok these are extreme examples so as to get my point across----one should really try not to lose oneself when involved in a relationship because it will take awhile for you to find your own identity back when you come to realise that you no longer know what you like/prefer without having to start your sentence with "my boyfriend says i look ugly in pink so i stopped....... " "my girlfriend thinks that i should cut down on sports because she says that......."does your boyfriend/girlfriend defines you?it's healthy to compromise and learn to enjoy each other's hobbies/ preference, but.... do know when to let your true self stay within you