the one with the update

the last time i blogged was when it was the first day of 2009. for the 1st 2 months, it has relatively been an uneventful one. not much happenings going on around me. but there are important decisions that kept bothering me every night. also, i learnt to see many things in a different light.

jobwise, i am just going through the motion every day, learning new things along the way and picking up the neccessary skills to survive in the working environment. i just couldn't decide whether to move on to another environment. keep comtemplating everyday due to my resistance to change. i am content with my current group of mates who are able to share our woes together. a new env, means a new grp of people. and i believe, the worst fear for me is uncertainty. what is going to be out there?

i am such a undecisive person. simple things like buying a new desktop took me months to consider. i believe i shouldn't bother about those worries but to just set myself to do it. few years have gone by and i am still like this. i think i require some event to trigger myself out of this comfort zone.

i am thankful for her for being there for me. i realised that i might turn out to be another person if i am left alone. i am damn disgusted by how a person can be like that, to the point that you aren't yourself anymore. it is really scary. people say "环境所逼” but i just dont feel that it is a valid reason to turn yourself into another person. i believe that even when the environment is like shit, and u are still able to work your way through the corporate ladder, and yet still keep your principles, this, i would respect.