the one with the harsh reality

went to pay respects to my grandpa today, for the 3 consecutive years, i went from school due to my upcoming exams. when we reached, dad lost his way and we took some time to find. it was my intuition which got us to the correct way. and when we saw a bunch of people whom my mum tot were the rest of my relatives, instinct told me that it wasn't and i exactly knew where to go to find my grandpa's grave. although i was only 3 months old when grandpa passed away, i knew him through photos and stories passed down. this year was exceptionally special because all were present except my bro(who just got married and didn't come due to my mum's supersitious beliefs), my cousin who went overseas for studies and my aunt who was taking care of a sick baby at the hospital. as we talked, i felt a tinge of sadness that my grandpa couldn't join us. all i could do was to hope that somewhere out there, he was able to see that his kids and grandkids are doing fine. i still feel like crying whenever i think of that.

sometimes, when we are in pursuit of our dreams, be it money or career, we seem to be forgeting the one thing that matters the most. family ties. to me, family is everything. i came to learn of it only now, after significant changes to my life in the previous month. i learnt to be grateful for once. for things that i had always taken for granted. but sometimes, i feel i might be looking things too deeply. should just take a step back and be too emotional. i have learnt to slow down and look at things postitively. however, a reality check that those pursuit for tangible items are still a harsh fact of life. it is inevitable to pursue all these, but i hope that i am able to enjoy what i am doing and appreciate the things around me.

i am going crazy.