the one with the lyrics: depeche mode, somebody

depeche mode, somebody

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She will hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and with every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
All the things I detest
I will almost like
I don't want to be tied
To anyone's strings
I'm carefully trying to steer clear
Of those things
But when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly
Though things like this
Make me sick
In a case like this
I'll get away with it

feel like things inside me are going to explode anytime. why is it so hard to get things off my chest? i think i am scared of opinions. how people would look at me once i said things. and this blog? it's just a comfort zone for me though i think less than 10% of what is in my mind is written here. why can't things be simpler? i wasn't like this in the past. i have changed. but was it for the better or for the worse? i don't know. maybe karma is setting in whenever i think of it. i don't know how long i can survive to be that "happy-go-lucky" guy. i want to show my emotions as well. i think alot. it's really dragging me down in things that i do. it's even thinking now when i am typing. i really hate that. why can't i just say that i don't like that at all? or did i spare too much thought for the people around me that i am neglecting myself. feels like i am lamenting. damn it. this blog aint getting me anywhere is sharing what i thought. was even comtemplating a diary. but i guess it would be the same. i hate myself for keep complaining. i really want to tell things. be open and trash things out. life's so unfair. it's totally unfair. something in my chest that i really wan to get it out. it's so damn freaking hard. so damn freaking painful that sometimes it turns numb. alot of things i should have said wasn't said on the spot. and when it's over, i simply forget about it. but when another thing pops out, it is accumulating in one corner of my mind slowly, unknowingly. i know that's not good. but there's nothing i can do either. wanted very much to tell but everytime, i simply let it go. it's about everything. heart is aching. maybe there are a lot of reasons for it to hurt. i just can't figure out which one weighs more. i seldom talk nowadays i realise. that's bad. don't know when will that happen. don't know when i will break down. funny thought i had: mental people go to aslyum cos they think too much is it? so they need an enclosed room to vent their frustration to stop thinking? haiz. after writing so much, i still didn't get my points clear. friends, please don't judge me. don't ask either. time will tell. that's what i always say. but is that true? will that ever be true? time will tell.

realised this is going to be my 100th entry. i am hiding too much things. should i tell or should i not? i really want to be given the gift of mind reading. or perhaps what i really want is just a simple life and stop thinking too much. i read too much into things. or do i? it ain't gonna be easy. it's in fact going to be tough. real tough. really wanted to talk to someone now. and blurt everything out. is that possible? i hope i can. so i hope i would be that happy go lucky guy again. someone just stabbed me please. i had enough.