the one with the unchanged me

i still can't believe that i can't change my attitude. after all those things that i have went through, i thought i could be better but the answer is obviously no. but is it all my fault? if it is, i will put myself responsible for everything. i will try to do things to appease. why does this happen to everyone i know? even ken told me he would be angry and pissed off if such things happen. do we have to be the one to 低声下气 and bring down our pride? we are guys for god's sake. i am just not thinking straight at this moment once again. it's like a flashback of what has been going on last time. and i truely hate the feeling. it's nobody's fault i can say but such things just have to happen. hope that all will boil over soon and things will be ok. but come to think of it, how to make things better when i am not even doing anything at all? i guess i still have much much much more to learn and change. or i can't change at all?

came home today to bring stuff back to hall. will be cooping myself back in hall until the exams are over. gonna miss home. but hope efforts pay off so i wun da bao any subjects. the thought of da baoing creeps me out.

i still can't change my attitude. that's sucks. sorry.

thought my entries gonna be cheerful since last posting. but no. lol.