the one where i can't think anymore

friends said i am too rush le. it happen so fast in less than a month. jiaokias were shocked. heard them say it's weird. it really makes me feel bad. i am a bad and evil guy in their eyes. i don't know how to face them in the future. i am mindful of their opinions and what others think of me. i didn't want them to think like that. why? i know it's unfair to think and feel that way. why must i keep thinking about all these things? i just wish to stop thinking. i feel damn low now. why? why? why? ARGH!!!!!!! i hope my friends wold support my decision and stand by me instead of criticising what i do. sighs.