me

i got to change the way i do things. if not, things are gonna get worse. taking things for granted, being so ridiculously selfish. i admit i keep things to myself and think alot. i have a pretty strong subconsious mind and i can't control it at all. is it my fault then? does everything have to be said out? i just don't hurt or upset anyone. but what she said is true too. i might just one day cannot take it and break down. i just wish to stop thinking about anything for just a few moments a day. that will be good.

this blog was supposed to write down things that i think of. but whenever i get down to writing stuff, i just forget what i wanted to write. my mind went blank. or perhaps i just don't want to write it down at all. actually sometimes i hate myself for the way i do things.

i think i complain too much about little things in life also. saturday was hall alumni games. i didn't like the way things were organised. it was too slow in starting the games and games couldn't begin simultanously also. i see things in the army way though. was telling ky how easy it was to organise games back then where everything was written down and carefully planned out. however, if i am given the task to organise the games, maybe i won't be able to do a better job also. so i can't say much.

4th week of sch and i still haven't settle in yet. too much distraction, lack of self disclipline is getting the better of me. gotta change asap.